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Welcome Lesbians and Bisexuals. Let's talk about everyday life. If you are haveing a problem let fellow members help you. After all that is what the group is for. Thanks, Miranda

I'm not sure...

Posted By Mgm1990 on Feb 15, 2013 at 2:36PM

Hello everyone! I'm new on here and I'm looking for some help. I'm am confused about my sexuality and I'm wondering how some of you knew that you were lesbian/bisexual, how you came to terms with it and how you go about everyday life. I am struggling everyday, I just wanna know how I know what I am, how to deal with it and how to meet someone special.

how do i tell them?

Posted By brittcor22 on Feb 2, 2013 at 7:41PM

I am a 24 year old bisexual and have been a relationship with the most amazing women. we  have dated in the past and it really didnt work out so we went our seperate ways but after four years i realized there was just no way i could live without her. We are talking about moving in together and everything but there is only one thing stopping me right now...my parents....they have no clue i am bi....how do i tell them?

Lesbian Dilema

Posted By spoiledyenny on Jan 19, 2013 at 7:21PM

I came out to some of my friends but no family last year. I know that I am a lesbian but I can't accept myself. I see two girls together and I catch myself thinking its wrong.  How can I still have these feelings about who I truly am?  Do they ever go away? I never thought that I would still be having these feelings after I came out to my friends.  I see two girls holding hands in public and I feel its wrong. I know its not wrong but it is my first feeling.  Is that from years of my family telling me it was wrong? I'm not that young.  As a mater of fact I came out in my late 30's.  Its so hard to make this change and see the disappointment in others eyes.  Help!


Finding My Identity, Stud or What?

Posted By Virgo826 on Jan 18, 2013 at 11:14AM

Hello Everyone, I am 29 years old and I have always known that I liked women, even b4 I knew what a lesbian was. I also found myself interested in boys, I always wondered if my intresest in men was soley due to brain washing, you know how your family preaches this whole male female thing, every book has some princess awaiting her prince charming to save her and give her that happily ever after. Once I was old enough to know that this was BS, I became completely immersed in the lesbian lifestyle through my entire high school experience. Once I left home and moved on my college campus, I was not as accepted as I was at home. For the first time in my life I ran into the "Closet". Those that were my best friends knew but I never wanted to make them feel uncomfortable so I would keep alot of my feelings for women to myself. I was always a Tom-Boy but once inside the closet I focused on being as girly as possible in order to fit in. I wanted to make my family happy and convience myself that my love for women was a phase, so I made the mistake of getting married. I love my husband but as a big brother, not a partner. Two weeks after getting hitched I realized I had made a major mistake but I was in it, so I had to follow through. From the day I said "I DO" my desire for women was the stongest I had ever experienced, I would dream of women while having sex with him, that was the only way I could get off. He would often say to me, why do you touch me and treat me like a female?  Why do you act as if your the "DOM" in the relationship? At that point I noticed I was being "ME" without even realizing it. I later found out that my husband had been unfatithful our entire 7 year relationship including the 3 years of marriage. I was in no way angry with him, I WAS SOOO HAPPY. This was my way  OUT without it being my fault. I then seperated from him and relocated. This is where my dilema falls.... Once back in the life, I decided to bring back the old me, appearance and all. I cut off my hair, pulled out the boyish clothes I could find, and threw away all makeup, dresses, hair weaves, and heels... I am "Stud" .... I made new friends, and created a totally new life for myself as if the past 10 years of my life did not exist. The issue with my appearance change is that I jumped in to fast without figuring everything out. The girly side of me had taken over more than I had realized, I did not give myself a chance to find balance. I instantly jumped into being stud without embrassing the feminine side of myself. Now I appear to be harder than what I am.  Once you have introduced yourself to the LGBTQ Community as Stud that is whats expected of you, How do you later soften your look and not be judged for it. I dont want to seem like I cant choose a role. I am Dominant in relationships, I am boyish but I also want to soften myself a bit. I am not a man, and dont want to be. I want people to see sexy female tomboy, not stare at me trying to figure out what I am...  That is my first delima... Finding Balance between the Stud and Femme in me... Second part of my drama, I fell on hard financial times and my ex/husband was more than happy to take me in and help me out until i get back on my feet and legally we are still married. My issuse is that when he introduces me he always says "My Wife" and he calls me "Baby or Boo" alot. I am use to it but ashamed of it im public. He wants me back and that is not what I want, but I am stringing him along in order to have some stablity until I can move out, (no sex of course) so you can say im living a double life and I hate it, I dont want to hurt him but I dont want to disrupt my current life...  we all know that the LGBTQ communty passes judgment amongst each other the same as the str8 community does us. I dont want to be labled a Fake Dick Dyke bcuz others dont understand my story... I dont want to tell my life story to everyone... My question to you guys is how can I find balance in my appearance? and How can I handle this double life situation, its getting alot harder than I thought, and I dont want to be living in the streets bcuz I decided to tell him to stop treating me like his wife, WE WILL NEVER BE 2GETHER AGAIN I AM 100% LESBIAN.... Please help me as best you can, I would greatly appreciate it.


Posted By jcr1992 on Jan 12, 2013 at 4:31PM

I am new to the group and am looking for comfort. I am 20 years old and have been married for a year next month...But I am not exactly Happy. I know I would be happier with another woman. I've thought about being with another woman since I was a young teenager but I never acted on my feelings for feel that I would be dejected by my family. I do not know what to do and the only person I have to talk to is my best friend who is a woman that I love. Can anyone give me some support.

is anyone out there..

Posted By Girlwithkaleidoscopeeyes on Jan 6, 2013 at 10:23PM

I don't know how to start this off...i'm just looking for help..reassurence or hope.  My family is very...very christian, the type of christians that hold traditions no matter the cost..no divorce even if your husband beats you, no hair cuts no sex before marriage and deffinately..no shameful same sex thoughts..i have had things like this shoved into every crevice and hole in my mental being..that "lesbos are homo fags" that "gays need to burn in hell"  oh my favorite is that "they have a mental illness and god should just take them for everyones safety"    

Since i was very young i knew i was different..i do not feel like who i see in the mirror is me..that the image my mother sees is me.  I do not feel any emotions for men..i have had many bf's trying to be what my mother wants, but the real me...its a secret..i am never happier then i have been with the few girlfriends i have had.  It felt right, but at the same time...i am disgusted in myself.  I wake up every day knowing i can never show those closest to me who i truly am.

I can not simply wear a shirt made for a man because it's "not lady like" or "you don't want anyone to think your a fag do you?"  i live in a house of people who hate me...and they don't even know it..i can't tell you how many times i have sat in the livingroom listening to my mom and grandma bash my gay cousin....saying profanities and saying "i cant believe he would do such a thing to his mother..he lives in such a good christian family.  he's going to burn for this sin"  i have had to escape..had to hide from them..because how am i to explain tears running down my face?

I know, that one day..i will have to tell them..i am waiting for the day i am stable independent and away from this house.  i am so afraid to lose my family, they aren't perfect..but they are my family.  i dream about telling them..i dream that they will be ok with it..that it'll be different.  But then i know them, i have my whole life. 

I need help...i need to know that im not insane..that im not all the things that my family would believe i am..

someone help..

~Kaleidoscope Girl.

scared and relieved

Posted By awakenedeyes on Jan 1, 2013 at 4:51PM

Hi not sure I'm posting right but I just really need to say this...
I've always been attracted to both sexes but ive always denied my feelings, I always made excuses or even denied that I was attracted to other women but tonight it really hit me. Ive always supported lgbt people, heck one of my best guy friends is gay, but there wS awys thg excuse, it wa just a random thought, it ment nothing about me. You see I supported lgbt people but my mom who says she does really doesnt, she raised me wanting me tolerant but not extrememly accepting but ive always been accepting, no matter what my mother said I always was a huge supporter and would agrue with her for hours about lgbt rights and such.
Thats not why I joined though, tonight I finally acepted it, I finally accepted that im bisexual and I really just needed to tell someone. im terrified and shaky and when i acknowledged it i couldnt stop crying and smiling, i felt so much weight come off my shoulders. no one knows, but maybe one day i'll be stong enough to tell someone but for now knowing and acknowledging is enough. thank you for reading :)

I'm young, can this just be a phase? I don't know what to do or how to feel.

Posted By confusedaboutwhatiam on Dec 23, 2012 at 9:33PM

So, about 5 moths ago I met this amazing girl. She's smart, beautiful, and just FANTASTIC! She's kind of masculine, because she wears men's clothes and spikes her short hair, but she's still very, very feminine in her personality and figure. It's this masculinity on the outside/ feminine on the inside that really drew me to her. I have always identified as staright, though I occasionally checked out a few girls. However, this girl feels different. I'm nervous around her, I have to build up courage to talk to her, I find myself dressing nicely to school just to impress her. I've liked guys before, but it's never been like how I like her.
I come from a very strict, "traditional" family, so coming out to them wouldn't be an option (i'm 17).
Besides, since i'm still so young, could this just be a phase? My gut istelling me no, but I'm just so confused. All I know is that I really, really like this girl.

confused and frustrated not being true to my heart

Posted By mamamisfit on Dec 22, 2012 at 9:32PM

ever since i can remember ive felt like i belonged with another women.. growing up i was taught that being gay was wrong and that we wouldnt have gays if more people beat their kids if they said they were gay. so i started dating guys i have only been with two men resulting in two amazingly sweet boys ages 2 and ten months old. however ive felt like something has been missing from my life and over the last few months even more so. ive started to question if i belong in my relationship where i dont feel ANY connections especially sexually. i literally never ever want to i only do it when i see he is unhappy and even then i distance myself. (TMI) during sex i slip away and think of things that turn me on cause if i dont i dry up and he knows something is wrong.. i feel im slipping away cause im not being true to my heart or to him. i am almost always frustrated and sad these days. i dont know whats brought this out but i think it has to do with recent conversation betwern him and regarding our sons. he thinks one might be gay and told me if he is we will beat him so he isn't anymore . this kills me and i always reply by looking at my sons  and saying mommy LOVES  you NO matter what.. i have no real supports and dont know where i should go or what.  i should do.

Totally and utterly confused

Posted By Km92 on Dec 10, 2012 at 5:41PM

Ever since my teens I knew I liked girls. At around the age of 16 I came out to my parents as being bisexual and even though they were sad at first they accepted it with open minds and hearts. But as the years have gone by I've felt it more and more harder to be attracted to males sexually. And even in my teen years it always felt forced. Like it felt nice physically but mentally I was always somewhere else when being intimate with guys. And even when kissing guys I felt absolutely nothing compared to when I kissed girls and it felt like fireworks going off. I've been in denial for a very long time and it hasn't been easy to get over especially because whenever I'd try to talk about it with friends I always got told "oh you're not gay you're just confused." And honestly I still kind of am because a part of me still really doesn't want to accept it. I'm also really confused too because I can be attracted to men emotionally but physically I don't really feel anything.